For a perfectionist there will always be one more step. Something that holds them back: another training to take, more education, a better looking body, another diet plan, better grades…whatever the gold star is. Perfectionists often wait until conditions are just right to get going or do nothing at all…and then beat themselves up in the process. Perfectionism is a constant struggle.
”I need to lose five pounds before I feel ready to wear a bathing suit in front of anyone.”
“She’s got 50 more ‘likes’ than me on Instagram. I can’t do anything right.”
“Oh, I couldn’t do that job. I’m not qualified enough. I need to sign up for this certification that takes a year and a half and costs a few thousand more dollars.”
“If I can’t do it in a way that satisfies me (or what I perceive satisfies others), I’m not going to do it at all.”
Stay with that noise long enough and it’s no wonder many perfectionists find themselves anxious, depressed, and disappointed. When perfectionists finally reach their goal, it’s often not satisfying. The striving was what gave energy. In order to displace the anxiety and depression, they come up with another goal.
But you want to know what’s really happening?