diet culture-counseling services raleigh-counselor kate

Shut up, food police!

Sometimes it’s difficult to shut up the “food police” (i.e. the voice that is judge and jury about what you should and should not eat). During a recent intuitive eating group, participants came up with statements from their own food police and we practiced coming up with alternative statements.  Alternative statements come from what Evelyn…

Quit Hooking Up With Your Eating Disorder - counseling services raleigh nc - counselor kate

How To Quit Hooking Up With Your Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are like an asshole college ex-boyfriend. Super seductive. Keeps you hanging but calls when you’re feeling desperate. Hard to break up with because he makes you feel really good sometimes (but makes you question your self-worth most of the time). After your breakup, you know hooking up is going to make you feel terrible but tell yourself, “It’ll just be this one time. We’re super casual.” (Heartbreak ensues).

Breaking up for good with your eating disorder can be the same way…

Body Image & Weddings: It's Not About The Dress - counseling services raleigh nc - Counselor Kate

It’s Not About the Dress

If you read my last wedding post or have ever been to a wedding, you know there’s a lot of emotion when folks tie the knot. Much of that emotion gets wrapped into body stuff: the dress, attendee’s desired weight loss to meet a size goal or look good for photos, reevaluation of life goals…everyone seems to have their own agenda when it comes to body image and weddings.

I was pretty stuck when it came to getting my own wedding plans off the ground because of these hangups. But, surprisingly, wedding planning actually helped my eating disorder recovery.

How to deal with anxiety - counseling services raleigh nc - counselor kate

Anxiety Sucks! and How to Deal

Anxiety is like a border collie looking to herd sheep. It gets anxious and runs in circles if it doesn’t have a job. Our brains work the same way. Anxiety can be hard to overcome because your brain is designed to think and our thoughts can make us anxious (especially when we’re stressed, tired, hungry). But anxiety doesn’t have to rule your life. Our brains have what’s called “plasticity,” meaning they can be retrained like that border collie. By repeatedly practicing skills to cope, you’re actually changing your brain wiring. It takes patience, but it’s possible.

Overcoming self-hate in the dressing room - Counseling Services - Raleigh, NC - Counselor Kate

Overcoming Self-Hate in the Dressing Room

Bathing suits and I have a sordid history. I was wearing a swimsuit the first time I noticed other girls had different body shapes. I was 10. Here’s what I wish I could say to her.

I have always loved swimming and never used to mind bathing suits. I remember being very proud of my first bikini. It made me feel older, imagining myself like the young women I’d see on the beach in their bikinis. I loved the freedom of my bare belly in the ocean and TBH how easy it was to pee without a one-piece.

Swimming came easily to me. I loved (and still do) the freedom of the water gliding against my skin. The feeling of weightlessness (not because of weight, just because it felt like I was in space…but under water). The white noise echo of the city pool that made me feel like I was in my own world.

Bathing suits became more challenging, however. When I was 10 years old, at a swim meet, I remember looking at the other girls and noticed my belly stuck out beyond my chest. I remember thinking there was something wrong with that, but not knowing why.