Highlighting the Importance of Connecting With Your Eating Disorder Therapist
Eating disorder recovery is a deeply personal and challenging journey, with the relationship between a person and their therapist serving as a critical foundation for healing.
Connection isn't just a nicety—it's a fundamental component of effective treatment. This connection can mean the difference between struggling in isolation and finding a path toward genuine recovery. It’s very important to make sure you have a good connection with your therapist and lean on them consistently during your recovery so you can reach your goals for healing. Here are some thoughts about the importance of consistent therapy and how to get the most out of the connection with your eating disorder therapist.
Tips for Newbies to Eating Disorder Therapy
For those new to eating disorder treatment, the prospect of opening up to a therapist can feel overwhelming and intimidating. Many people start therapy feeling vulnerable, ashamed, and uncertain about whether they can truly recover. The initial therapeutic relationship is a delicate but powerful opportunity to begin breaking down the walls that an eating disorder has constructed.
When you're just starting treatment, your ability to connect with your therapist depends on several key factors.
First, trust is paramount. A good therapist creates a non-judgmental space where you feel safe sharing your deepest struggles. This means they listen actively, validate your experiences, and demonstrate genuine compassion. They won't attempt to "fix" you instantly but instead help you identify your strengths and acknowledge the complexity of your eating disorder.
Communication is equally crucial.
A skilled eating disorder therapist understands the nuanced language of recovery. They recognize that your eating disorder isn't always about food or weight, but also includes emotional experiences, coping mechanisms, and underlying psychological needs. They'll help you explore these deeper layers, gently guiding you to understand yourself without your inner critical voice getting in the way.
I recommend being honest about your fears, asking questions about the therapeutic process, and giving yourself permission to be imperfect. Your therapist is not expecting you to be a “good student” or have it all together. They know healing is messy and non-traditional. If something doesn't feel right in the therapeutic relationship, it's okay to discuss this openly or even consider finding a different therapist who might be a better fit. A good therapist will support you in this.
What to Expect When You Have Regular Therapy Visits
Whether you’ve been in therapy for four weeks or four (or forty) years, I suggest making sure that your visits are consistent and frequent enough that you’re not spending most of the session just catching up about the week. At the beginning of a new therapy relationship, expect to meet once a week with your new eating disorder therapist. This way, you are building momentum and rapport with your therapist so that you keep building trust and can start to work intentionally on your goals. Eating disorders often live in shame and secrecy, so it's really important to have someone you trust to talk to. Meeting regularly with your eating disorder therapist can help build that trust and accountability.
A benefit to meeting regularly is that you have a spot on the calendar that holds you accountable to working towards recovery goals.
It's easier to gain and build momentum towards recovery when you’re meeting more frequently with your therapist. Even with the best of intentions, most people fail to do their therapy homework between sessions for a variety of reasons so having consistent regular therapy helps you stay on top of behavior changes and mindset for recovery.
Furthermore, changing behavior and thinking patterns is really tough on your own, and people in your life may consciously or subconsciously derail your recovery.
It takes lots of practice and repetition to change old patterns of thinking and acting with food and body image, so your therapist is there to help you with that. Checking in regularly with your eating disorder therapist is essential for overcoming roadblocks to strengthen new neural pathways and figure out how to become a normal eater again.
Another reason it’s important to connect with your eating disorder therapist on a regular basis is that you'll be able to learn and practice (remember: repetition) new skills for self-regulating, which are really important at each stage of recovery. You'll be able to practice things like setting boundaries and role-playing how to deal with holidays and other triggering situations with the support of a therapist who understands the nuances of eating disorders and strategies for recovery in hard situations.
Finally, connecting with an eating disorder therapist gives you the chance to work through some of the underlying issues that might have contributed to your eating disorder in the first place. It can be really hard to do some of this introspective work on your own. Your therapist will know your unique story and perspective and be able to provide a more objective view of how to handle different situations or old thinking patterns that come up in a way that friends or family may not be as equipped to talk about.
Long-Term Therapy Connections Are Important Too
In long-term treatment, it’s still important to maintain consistent connection in order to start working on the nuances of recovery such as past trauma, communicating needs, or overcoming negative self-beliefs. Over the long haul, your goals will probably shift as you meet milestones or run into hurdles. In this case, connecting regularly with your eating disorder therapist gives time to reassess treatment goals, explore new therapeutic approaches, or address any emerging resistance. A strong therapeutic relationship at this stage isn't about dramatic breakthroughs but about consistent, compassionate support and incremental growth.
For individuals who have been in eating disorder treatment for an extended period, maintaining a therapeutic connection can present unique challenges. After months or years of therapy, it's common to feel frustrated, stuck, or uncertain about continued progress. The initial excitement of treatment may have faded, replaced by a sense of repetition or stagnation.
Long-term clients may have had previous therapists who helped (or not) at certain times in their treatment.
Sometimes, therapy or higher levels of care have felt more harmful than helpful, so it’s important to work with a therapist who can adapt their approach and have compassion for the treatment fatigue and wariness that comes with this. If this is your story, you might try to find a therapist who can integrate different therapeutic approaches like EMDR or Somatic Experiencing and collaborate with you on setting new goals from the beginning of treatment. In addition, you may want to explore underlying trauma or focus on building life skills beyond eating disorder symptoms. The connection becomes less about direct symptom management and more about holistic personal development.
It's also crucial for long-term patients to communicate openly about their experiences.
If you feel your progress has plateaued, share this with your therapist. A good eating disorder therapist will welcome this conversation, viewing it as an opportunity to recalibrate treatment strategies. They understand that recovery isn't linear and that periods of seeming stagnation can actually be important processing times.
Some of my best therapy sessions (both personally and professionally) have been when I didn’t expect something to come up but it emerged while we were talking about something adjacent to the topic of eating disorders. If I didn’t have the long-term, deeper connection with my therapist or my client, then it would have been harder to arrive at an “ah-ha” moment in the safe, predictable space we’d built over the past few years. I know that can sound intimidating to some (“Wait! Years?!”), but that time helped build the trust and safety needed to deal with deep attachment wounds or the unmet needs that we tend to use the eating disorder to meet.
Consistent, Connected Therapy Can Be a Magical Thing
Connecting with your eating disorder therapist is an ongoing, dynamic process. It requires vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. Whether you're just beginning treatment or have been in therapy for years, the quality of your therapeutic relationship can significantly impact your recovery trajectory.
Remember that no two recovery journeys are identical.
Your path will be uniquely yours, shaped by your experiences, challenges, and strengths. A compassionate, skilled therapist doesn't promise instant healing but offers something equally valuable: consistent support, understanding, and hope.
Start Working with An Eating Disorder Therapist in Raleigh, NC and Across the State
For those struggling with eating disorders, know that connection is possible. Your experiences are valid, your struggles are real, and with the right support, recovery is within reach. The therapeutic relationship isn't just a professional interaction—it's a collaborative journey toward understanding, healing, and reclaiming your life. Start your therapy journey with Counselor Kate by following these simple steps:
Read more about me and my therapy process
Start connecting with your therapist!
Other Services Offered with Counselor Kate
I’m dedicated to helping individuals heal and grow through various approaches. Eating disorder therapy isn’t the only service I provide. I’m dedicated to helping individuals heal and grow through various approaches, including intuitive eating services focused on fostering a healthier, more balanced relationship between food and your body. I also offer trauma and somatic therapy. Visit my blog today for more helpful support!