How To Deal With Summer Gatherings When You’re In Recovery from Anorexia
One of the biggest challenges I hear from folks in anorexia recovery is dealing with summer gatherings. Whether it’s going to the pool, being around other people, changing schedules, or eating new foods, summer brings unique seasonal obstacles. With some careful planning and practice you can enjoy your summer and stay rooted in your recovery.
How can I manage anxiety about being around others at summer events?
You might feel anxious being around others at summer events due to things like wearing a bathing suit or shorts or eating new foods around people. That anxiety is a clue that the anorexia mindset is being challenged but it doesn’t mean you need to engage with it. Here’s my play-by-play of what to do in this situation:
Plan ahead. Work with your therapist or dietitian to make a plan for how you’ll manage things like new foods, different eating schedules, wearing summer clothes, or being around people who make diet-y comments.
Name it to tame it. In other words, name the emotion you’re feeling either to yourself or out loud to a trusted support. Sometimes just naming the feeling can help diffuse it so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Use a mindset-shifting mantra. It helps to have a short phrase to say to yourself when you’re feeling challenged. Here are some mantras you can try:
I can do this.
I choose recovery right now.
Anxiety is temporary.
My worth is not my weight.
There is more to my life than how I look in a bathing suit.
Practice mindfulness. Have a meditation saved or cued up on your phone so you can check in with your breathing and get into the present moment.
Take a break from the gathering to be quiet, journal or call a support person.
Set time limits. My rule of thumb while practicing new skills in social settings is to limit your time to 2-3 hours. You might also want to arrive early or late so that you don’t feel obligated to stay for longer than your social battery limits. It can help to have something planned before or after social gatherings to 1) give you an “out” so you can arrive or go when you want and 2) to decompress afterward.
Limit alcohol or other substances. Alcohol and drugs change your brain chemistry by altering the levels of neurotransmitters, which are chemical messengers that control thought processes, behavior, and emotion. These changes can make it hard to regulate emotions and make choices in line with your recovery. By limiting alcohol and drug use, you’ll have an easier time managing anxiety.
Practice coping strategies to deal with anxiety: journal, change into comfy clothes, watch a favorite show or movie, do some gentle stretches, and listen to music.
Focus on other things like enjoying the company of friends and family and participating in non-food-related activities like swimming, games, or outdoor sports.
How can I stay mindful of my recovery goals during social events?
It’s important to plan ahead of social events to keep your recovery goals in mind. It’s easy to forget your goals when you’re overwhelmed, so coaching yourself beforehand (or using the help of your therapist or dietitian) is essential. By doing some mindset work ahead of time you can keep your “why’s” for recovery top of your mind. I suggest doing the following activities to get clear about your recovery goals:
Values Card Sort - this card sort can help you identify your guiding values for life. It helps to have a list of your top 5 values in mind so you can ask yourself “Is this in line with my values?” before taking an action that might compromise your life goals.
Inner child work - find a photo of yourself as a kid (preferably younger than 7 years old). Take a moment to journal about what that kid was thinking, doing, and going through. Now imagine you were able to talk to the younger you. What would you say that would be kind, compassionate, and offer the kind of reassurances you needed to hear then? Write these down. Use these statements to yourself when you’re in challenging situations.
Collage - settle in with some magazines or Pinterest images that show what you want your life to look like without the eating disorder. What would you be doing to make your life feel fun, free, and fulfilling? Who would you be hanging out with? Who are important role models or people living this lifestyle? What kinds of foods or beverages would you enjoy? Where would you live or visit? As you answer these questions, put images on your collage that represent your responses. Use this collage as a guide to check in about your progress to a life in recovery.
When you’ve planned ahead and done some of these inquiry activities, use your values list, compassionate inner child statements, and collage visuals as a way to keep your mindset focused during summer gatherings (or any other challenging events).
What strategies can help with changing schedules and routines?
When it comes to changing schedules and routines in summertime, make sure you’ve done some pre-planning to keep yourself fed and in a good headspace. You’re not always going to have the perfect meal schedule when traveling or eating socially, which can be really distressing to an anorexic brain. But part of recovery is learning how to be flexible both with food and in life. Here are some strategies to help with this:
Practice changing up your schedule ahead of time with your therapist or dietitian. The more you practice with a different meal or snack time, the less it’s going to bother you when you get to the “real” event.
Practice eating challenge foods that you’d have to eat when traveling in places like an airport or store that doesn’t have a lot of “safe” options. You’re going to be much more prepared to keep yourself nourished if you’ve already practiced. Skipping meals and snacks is not an option in recovery since that’s exactly what anorexia wants you to do.
Make a snack bag to keep with you and keep it stocked.
Set timers to make sure you eat consistently.
Use an app like Recovery Record to keep your treatment team in the loop about your eating habits and any slips that might happen during your travels or changing summer schedule.
Have a meal buddy on standby or plan ahead for a support person to eat with you. An accountability buddy early on in recovery will be an essential support if you have difficulty keeping up with your meals and snacks. They can either eat with you or be there to distract you while you deal with the feeling of fullness after a meal.
Join a support group to help with accountability and to process any feelings that come up with summer changes.
Check in frequently with your recovery “why’s” and do continued mindset work to help stay in line with your goals.
Use mindfulness to manage anxiety and other distressing feelings. Most people with anorexia and other eating disorders have low distress tolerance, making it harder for them to deal with change. Mindfulness is a proven way to increase distress tolerance so you can handle transitions more easily.
Final thoughts as an eating disorder therapist
Navigating summer gatherings during anorexia recovery can be daunting, but with the right strategies and support, you can enjoy these events while maintaining your progress. By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and utilizing coping skills, you can manage the challenges that come with social events. Remember, it's important to focus on the positive aspects of these gatherings, like connecting with friends and family and engaging in fun, non-food-related activities. Taking breaks when needed, preparing responses to potential questions, and practicing self-compassion are crucial steps in ensuring you feel comfortable and supported throughout your recovery journey.
Seeking help for anorexia recovery in Raleigh, NC
If you find yourself struggling, remember that you don’t have to face these challenges alone. My counseling services are here to provide you with personalized support and guidance tailored to your unique recovery journey. Together, we can develop effective strategies to help you navigate social situations, manage anxiety, and build a healthier relationship with food and your body. Reach out today to take the next step towards a brighter, more balanced summer and a stronger, more resilient you.
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At Counselor Kate, my goal is to provide compassionate support to help individuals process and release trauma stored in the body with trauma and somatic therapy. Rediscover a harmonious relationship between food and your body through my intuitive eating services!